Saturday, January 16, 2010
I just yummed up a WW smoothie (made with milk) frozen strawberries and peaches, fiber 1 peach yogurt, vanilla and splenda.... to be honest I ate past the point of being satisfied .... now I feel guilty.... I'm trying to figure why I don't just stop but the rest in the freezer for a little be later...... I think it all boils down to the fact that I don't trust myself to allow myself to eat later (I guess I will always be a recovering anorexic even though it is more than 30 years ago)! I have come to realize that I will always have food issues and that is why I'm not trying to get to the low end of my height/weight range.... I know I always risk going over board and I don't want to do that again. I can tell you that food is always on my mind.As far as my indulgence this weekend.... no it isn't food related .... over the Christmas holidays I took 2 weeks of vacation...... the first week was filled with rushing around, shopping, wrapping presents..and always the daily trip to the barn to do my horsey chores.... by the 2nd the week I just wanted to stay at home and not go anywhere, I even resented having to get out of the apt to go to the stables, grocery store and WW meeting.....now being back at work the stress has been very intense and I'm anxiety in bulk everyday.... I know that I need to just "Be" for awhile so I'm trying to not push myself to Have to do anything.......I will go to the barn and I will most likely make it to my WW mtg tomorrow..... I'm sleeping as late as my body and my doggies will let me......I need to get back to "moving more" but I am just not a point to put pressure on myself.....sounds crazy doesn't it. I feel like I want to hit the Pause button on my life! diane
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